Saturday, February 28, 2009

America - no money for health!

I'm visiting blogs of people with other health problems and I'm getting more and more appalled by American Health Care system. This is from Herrad's blog who lives with multiple sclerosis. As always money is the problem. There is no money for health.
I am waiting for the day that instead of measuring health by a statistic of life expectancy of each country quality of life will be the real parameter.
"It seems that the buying policy is to buy a job lot of ugly, heavy wheelchairs and give everyone that applies for a wheelchair one of them regardless of their actual requirements.

No consideration is made of general health and welfare nor do they seem to trust the feedback from their clients ignoring any comments about shortcomings of the aids."

"The consequence of my case manager and advisor ignoring my feedback and requests for help has been a horrible pressure sore and 6 months in bed up to now before I can sit up again."

"That is much more expensive in terms of the increased care I have needed plus the opportunity cost of having months of my life literally taken away from me.."
Read the whole post here.

Update: March, 2 2009
I've just remembered that Herrad lives in Amsterdam not in US. I believe the title of the post should be "World - no money for health!" but this change would not appear. I'll contact people from US to see how do they have their wheelchairs. I'm afraid I will not have a different story. But I have to do it.
I'm sorry.

Friday, February 27, 2009

For Stephany

"Is a state of total awareness. Only by achieving true Unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may fall before you."
You can see the whole explanation here.

AstraZeneca buried unfavorable Seroquel data

According to Bloomberg: via Bob Fiddaman

By Jef Feeley and Margaret Cronin Fisk

Feb. 27 (Bloomberg) -- Unfavorable studies about the antipsychotic drug Seroquel were “buried” by AstraZeneca Plc, according to an internal e-mail unsealed as part of litigation over the medicine.

The drugmaker failed to publicize results of at least three clinical trials of Seroquel and engaged in “cherry picking” of data from one of those studies for use in a presentation, an AstraZeneca official said in a December 1999 e-mail unsealed yesterday under an agreement between the company and lawyers for patients. The company faces about 9,000 lawsuits claiming it failed to properly warn users that Seroquel can cause diabetes and other health problems. AstraZeneca fell 6.5 percent.

The larger issue is how we face the outside world when they begin to criticize us for suppressing data,” John Tumas, an AstraZeneca publications manager, told colleagues in the e-mail. (emphasis mine)

The whole story is here.

I don't understand why Mr. John Tumas is concerned to face "the outside world" in other words, people who take the drug. They just have to keep acting the same way they have been doing. It's working pretty good until now.

Obama has just announced extra money to Iraq soldiers...

...fight PTSD....

more later...
He has been raising vets issues for a long time. Here is one of the issues:

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) - Obama fought a VA proposal that would have required a reexamination of all Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) cases in which full benefits were granted. He and Senator Durbin passed an amendment that became law preventing the VA from conducting a review of cases, without first providing Congress with a complete report regarding the implementation of such review. In November 2005, the VA announced that it was abandoning its planned review. Obama passed an amendment to ensure that all service members returning from Iraq are properly screened for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). TBI is being called the signature injury of the Iraq war. The blast from improvised explosive devices can jar the brain, causing bruising or permanent damage. Concussions can have huge health effects including slowed thinking, headaches, memory loss, sleep disturbance, attention and concentration deficits, and irritability. Obama and Biden will improve mental health treatment for troops and veterans suffering from combat-related psychological injuries. (emphasis mine) They will:

1. Improve Mental Health Treatment: Recruit more health professionals, improve screening, offer more support to families and make PTSD benefits claims fairer.

2. Improve Care for Traumatic Brain Injury: Establish standards of care for Traumatic Brain Injury, the signature injury of the Iraq war.

3. Expand Vet Centers: Expand and strengthen Vet Centers to provide more counseling for vets and their families. (emphasis mine)
As long as counseling is provided and these men are not put on antidepressant, benzodiazepine, mood stabilizer or any other psych-drug that has no power to treat the traumatic experience of being on a war its great.
Screening soldiers for Traumatic Brain Injury is also a good measure since the symptoms can be seen as "psychological" or symptoms of depression.
Let's hope for the better.

One of my wishes - help stop making fun of science

It comes a time in life we start thinking that we would like to leave a good sign of our existence here.
I hope that this blog on health problems brought by psych-drugs consumption is one of these signs.
This is one of the greatest problems of our times. Medicine as a whole lost it's way.
We are talking about health and I'm sure that all my blog friends are not thinking about themselves.
We just don't want that other generations have to suffer because of this hideous distorted scientific charade. I would like to see these people stop making fun of science.

Profits from Iraq war - higher cost...

This is from Project Censured a wonderful site that Andy Alt has sent to me Gianna and Susan by e-mail. Thank you Andy!
"Since the invasion of Iraq in 2003, profits have shot up for oil companies. In 2004, the major U.S. oil companies posted record or near record profits. In 2005 profits for the five largest oil companies increased to $113 billion. In February 2006, ConocoPhillips reported a doubling of its quarterly profits from the previous year, which itself had been a company record. Shell posted a record breaking $4.48 billion in fourth-quarter earnings—and in 2005, ExxonMobil reported the largest one-year operating profit of any corporation in U.S. history."
They would never spend money on a war that have no profits. The higher cost: lives and minds of soldiers.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The word for few people

I feel blessed to know I carry this word with me and I'm in touch with many who carry it too. Thank you.

AstraZeneca, Pharmas and Psychiatry - acceptance

Our minds moves in mysterious ways. This week I said I was working on acceptance. Today I found out that AstraZeneca, Eli-Lilly, Johnson&Johnson and some universities have visited the post on Wayne Macfadden affairs that I wrote yesterday in a sarcastic way. It would usually triggers the old anger I used to feel, the sadness and I would probably write another post full of rage.
No. I'm not feeling anything of this kind. It's just another fact, I have post some comments at Furious Seasons and nothing more.
I believe that I reached acceptance and this is good.
In my life I have noticed that there is a process that I cannot explain exactly. But I believe that I can put something in my mind - in this case accept what has happened to me related to psych-drugs - and during a period of time I grieve but deep inside I feel something telling me "You have that goal to achieve." and I keep going thinking that I will never reach the end of this road.
One day I realize that... I got there!
The reward is relief, appeasement and freedom. Freedom because whenever one hate something or someone slavery is the relationship one have with this other.
So here I am.
No! Don't you think I will ever give up fighting them. I have already urged AstraZeneca to donate to Furious Seasons at this spring fundraiser. I left a comment there and I'm asking here again, AstraZeneca. You know I pay too much to buy Seroquel.
But I am doing it in the most calm way with my mind at peace, breathing and with an open heart.
Thank all of you who helped me on this whole process.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Constant Gardener - the book - the film - the reality

The Constant Gardener is a novel by John le Carré that was published in 2001 showing the corruption and abuse of power of pharmacetical industry. It was made into a movie by the Brazilian filmmaker Fernando Meireles.

John le Carré writes in the book's afterword:

"By comparison with the reality, my story is as tame as a holiday postcard."

We are discussing it daily with some posts on other subjects to clear our minds.
Thanks to all of you who are doing this work.

Cities being destroyed because of money - Amsterdam

've spent one year at Paris and has visited some cities. Amsterdam was one of them and it was a great pleasure being in such a peculiar and beautiful architecture.
Today I went after this photo of the city at Richie's blog and discovered that money... - yep! always money - is putting in jeopardy this amazing place:

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Such a lovely city!

This was my day trip on Saturday. The funny building in the middle was once bought by speculators with a view to knock it down and put an office in it's place. Squatters occupied it for years and did what they could to preserve it until the City of Amsterdam was forced to recognise it and it was declared a monument and money found to save it.
(click at the picture to see it clearly)

I left a comment and got this reply:
Ana said...

I didn't realize that you wrote that they wanted to ruin the city.
Don't let them!
I've seen a documentary on how Alexandria's coast is being destroyed with a lot of Hotels being constructed.

Richie said...

Sadly the city is always under threat.
How to launder drugs money in Amsterdam: Set up 2 property development companies. Each buys an historic building that badly needs repair. Then sell the buildings to each other at inflated prices thus generating a legitimate income. Eventually the historic building will fall into disrepair (foundations shift constantly- we live in a drained swamp). Get permission to demolish. Sell as prime development project or invest own money and realise even more profit. If you remember to keep the right people sweet you can go on indefinitely

I believe that I shouldn't mind all these changes. It has always been this way. Human all too human.

A Tribute to Jim Morrison

I was watching this DVD today because I don't know too much about The Doors. These words by Jim and his band friends did catch my attention:

"Jim's contribution to music was that Jim was real. Jim was real on stage, Jim was real when he wrote his songs, when he sang the songs in the studio. He was not a performer, he was not an entertainer he was not a showman. He was a shaman. He was possessed, man. The guy was possessed by a vision, by a madness, by a rage to live, by an all-consuming fire to make art."
Ray Manzarek

"The mood I get from most of this kind of heavy, kind of sort of a gloomy feeling, you know? Like a... like someone not quite at home or, you know, or not quite... not quite relax. You know, we're a lot of things but not quite sure bout anything. I'd like to do just a feeling of being totally at home."
Jim Morrison

"He was in his room and he wouldn't come out. (laughs) So we... "Come on, Jim." He finally let us in and he was sort of under the bed and taking a lot of acid, encouraging us to take acid. And we're gonna: "We gotta a gig." You know... So we gotta him over The Whisky and we were doind The End and he threw in the Edipo section got very quiet. I think we were fired that night too."
John Densmore

"We tried to marry poetry and music much in the manner of the poetry and the jazz, the beatnik of the late 50's and early 60's. And we tried to do poetry and rock and roll."
Ray Manzarek

"I'd like to do a song or a piece of music that's just a pure expression of joy. Pure like a celebration of existence, you know?
And like the coming of spring, like a sun rising. Just pure unbounded joy. I don't think we've really done that yet."
Jim Morrison

Wayne Macfadden - "Say Seroquel is good, baby!"

I don't want to write about it and Philip Dawdy has already made an article that says it all:
"From 2001 to 2006, Macfadden was the US medical director for Seroquel and director of clinical research for central nervous system efforts by AstraZeneca. In a deposition in the case in 2008, given under oath, Macfadden admitted to a lengthy sexual relationship with a researcher at the Institute of Psychiatry, King's College in London, England and with a ghostwriter who worked at Parexel MMS (Medical Marketing Services) in the USs, according to court records. Neither woman is named in court papers, due to the obviously sensitive nature of their dealings with Macfadden. Both women were intimately tied to publications favorable to Seroquel and AstraZeneca, according to court records."
Read the whole story here.

It seems that in the future we will have some amazing X-rated novels about psychiatrists, researchers, key opinion leaders, ghost-writers... the whole brothel. "The confessions of a psychiatrist" was written in 1954 but is about doctor-patient relationship.
Wow! What a relief that plenty other characters will be in action. I guess writers have already a good start with Wayne Macfadden's story.
Can you imagine that scene at the table? Dialogue "Say Seroquel is good, baby!"

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

No money to take care of teeth - governments don't care about health

This is from The Lancet:

Do it yourself Research by Which? suggests that about 3 million people have tried doing their own dentistry-pulling out teeth with pliers or string tied to a door handle, whitening teeth with cleaning products, using glue for loose fillings or crowns, popping an ulcer with a pin, and mending dentures. Self-dentistry is not just the result of fear of dentists; for many people, good dental treatment is hard to obtain.

Hard to obtain means it's too expensive. I will say it once again: governments don't care about their citizens health. It's outrageous.

Maniac-depressive psychosis - Bipolarity 1, 2 and 3 - Say What?

A very close person to me went into manic after one year being depressed and had to be hospitalized. The diagnoses was manic-depressive psychosis known today as bipolarity.When I first heard it I thought it was a good word and it was better to say it than the old stigmatized label.
But the concept has evolved. Now there is bipolarity 1, 2 and there will be coming soon to a theater near to you bipolarity 3.
So when a person tells you that he/she is bipolar without the numbers you don't know what is really going on.
Philip Dawdy, who has been trying hard to make sense on the accuracy of these diagnoses, has published a great article on this issue at Furious Seasons and he says?

"My frustration with the bipolar disorder label, be it type 1 or 2 (or the possibly forthcoming type 3) is that people outside the clinical world of well-informed researchers and well-read patients--and that would be the general public--do not understand the distinction between subtypes of bipolar disorder and what those distinctions mean. So saying to someone that you are diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2, especially a cautious employer, is tantamount to saying you have full-blown manic-depression because that's all the general public knows. You'll lose your job, or not get it in the first place, and that date you've got tonight will run for the hills. Some family members will make the same kinds of assumptions. So will the police, insurance companies and society as a whole.

The instant assumption people will make is that you are just like the manic guy they read about in the paper who went off his nut and shot a cop or stripped and ran naked down the street until the cops dragged him off to a psych unit. I don't care how many awareness-raising campaigns you or NAMI National or DBSA or whoever want to do on bipolar disorder. They simply won't cut ice with the public.

The sad fact is that people in America lose jobs, careers and their own little society each day due to being slapped with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder type 2 that should more properly be understood as "mixed depression," as the above author notes. It's time for psychiatrists, and especially those drawing up the forthcoming DSM-V, to realize that their diagnoses exist as much in a social context as in a medical context and that they need to be damn careful and extremely precise about labeling anyone with bipolar disorder (and some other disorders as well). It's time for these blasted 15-minute interview, first-visit diagnoses to go away.

I've had a flurry of emails involving others' experiences with this dynamic lately and I'm sick and tired of seeing this go on in our culture.

To the degree that this mixed depression diagnosis might help clear some of that up--let's face it, it'll be understood by most people as "depression"--I'm all in favor. I doubt that it would change much the treatments doctors would recommend, but you can only fight one war at a time, as it were. It would appear from the two other papers that treating someone with mixed depression with anti-depressants is a recipe for disaster and human suffering.

For those of you who think I am attacking you and your diagnosis of bipolar disorder type 2, I'm not. If you are comfortable with your diagnosis, then roll with it. I'm simply putting some things out into the Netosphere that must be asked and making points that must be made, or nothing will ever change.

Besides, where do you or anyone think all those false-positive diagnoses of bipolar disorder are coming from?

No matter where you stand on any of these issues, this is a pressing matter that demands sorting out and promptly."

It's getting harder and harder to understand it all and I believe it's intentional. When you don't understand your diagnosis the use off-label of psych-drugs is easier.

Monday, February 23, 2009

People need people

what the?

Either I just lost 10 followers overnight or blogger is really screwed up again.

My resignation letter

My Resignation Letter

To Whom it May Concern,

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant…

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer’s day. I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair.

That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simply again. I don’t want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones…

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . here’s my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my stocks. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you’ll have to catch me first, cause……..

……”Tag! You’re it.”

Pass this to someone and brighten their day by helping them remember the Simple things in Life.


I've copied it from Katharine* who has copied it from...

*Wow! I've already copied three great things from her. The woman is amazing! I only take the funny stuff but the whole blog is great! Thank you Katharine.

One of the reasons depressed people are alone

When we are depressed we have a time of our own. Sometimes it's impossible to connect with others or even answer the phone. But it's not like this the whole day. Those who care understand it and are beside you during the time you are able to be among others.
However the vast majority of people who are depressed, or who have been depressed in the past, are lonely.
There are many reasons but I like to name just one: other people fear their own sadness and run from it no matter what it takes. Some people work all the time not to think about their sorrows; some keep themselves busy with no matter what... there are plenty ways to avoid sadness. Many people say "Don't cry" when you feel like crying.
This is funny. Yoy cannot express your emotion. So don't laugh when you hear a good joke.
While I was listening to the Pink Floyd's "Great gig in the sky" I left on the post below I remembered the feeling and started to cry because of those times and because of today.
I don't fear sadness and I believe most of us have learned how to cope with it. The hard is to cope with depression, the disease.
As most people think that depression=sadness and nothing more they don't want to be near anything that can trigger their own sad feelings.
I've been told many times not to blog on mental health and that I should do something of valuable with my life - the same reason: this is not a happy subject and worse, I'm not receiving money for doing it.
I've noticed that these advices were on my shoulder and while I'm posting, reading other people's blog or researching this sad subject I did it with these advices in the back of my mind. Okay! Perhaps one day I will stop bloging or doing it once a week. But now I believe I still have something to say and if I feel sad it's my problem.
I also laugh and I only talk to people in real - I'm not real while I'm here - life when I'm glad.

Update: the main reason is that people don't understand the disease. That's what disease awareness campaign should explain but they are concerned in diagnosing and selling drugs, not on explaining clinical depression. If they did it they would not be able to prescribe psych-drugs for those who are not clinically depressed.

It comes from the deep of the soul...

...for me. I don't like sharing music because it takes too much time and your mood must be different or... blah blah blah...
However I believe it's so deep that I would like to share.
I used to listen when I was a teenager and knew that somehow it expresses some of my feelings back then.
The women's voice is great.
I guess you all know it. Perhaps even felt the same.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

A wonderful and lucky lady


I just took this out the bedroom window some of the joys of country living

I've just found this amazing blog: Lucky Lady. She has amazing photos of cats (Susan!) and dogs and much more. She also has some inspiring thoughts such as this prayer that I first saw at Mike's blog.
What I like is:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

I've been working on acceptance. We simply have too. Now I've realized that I have to work on the wisdom to know the difference.
I believe sometimes although you don't see the change you know that your work is not in vain and perhaps in the future...

Robert Whitaker - Mad in America and WHO

I admire immensely Robert Whitaker's work. I've been seeing some videos at Youtube and he says many important things. I didn't read "Mad in America" but I know it's a very good book because many people have published something about it here and there.
There is only one thing that is at his site that breaks my heart:

"Living in a developed country is a “strong predictor” that a person newly diagnosed with schizophrenia will never fully recover."
World Health Organization, 1992
"3. When the World Health Organization compared outcomes for schizophrenia patients in rich countries to those in poor countries, it determined that outcomes were much, much better in the poor countries. In the poor countries, the WHO reported, only 16% of patients were regularly maintained on antipsychotic drugs."

This data by WHO is far from Brazilian reality. I wrote to him back in 2005 and he was kind enough to answer me. The problem is WHO definitions on what is poor country and how was this outcome reached.
As far as Brazil is concerned all antipsychotic drugs are on the market for more than a decade.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Too many blog friends are depressed...

... and this is so hard not being able to do anything. I'm still sad. If I went to a psychiatrist for the first time I'm sure he would diagnose and prescribe.
I know my reasons to be sad and I'm just concerned because I should go to my therapist, I know what I have to do but strangely enough I don't want to. Go figure! I don't want to stay this way but I don't want to do anything. Perhaps I want to stay sad. It's comfortable I'm not responsible. Don't you hate yourself when you have to face these kind of traps you do? Why?
But it's not about my sadness I want to talk.
I talking about depression, the real thing that don't leave room for taking a shower, take a glimpse at the weather, pay attention on a movie... we know the symptoms.
It's hard.
It seems that all automatic actions require thinking. I can remember my depressed days brought by psych-drugs - I believe that what I'm feeling has a little help from this thing but it's not that serious.
How lonely we feel. People don't understand and there comes the advices: "Take a walk." "Find a job." we all know the marvellous collection of solutions people have.
If you're experiencing this I don't know what to say.
I just want you to know that many people in this virtual world care about you.
I'm one of them.

Brazil condemned by OAS for crime against psychiatric patient - repost

I'm reposting it because I've read many atrocities US commits against those who are under psychiatric care. I never thought it was paradise but some stories I did read are unacceptable.
American government has to find a way to protect those who are considered mentally ill.
Damião Ximenes is an exception. The country was condemned.
I hope it inspires those who are fighting to find a way to reach the law.

"After fighting for justice under Brazilian laws Damião Ximenes family was advice by humans right advocators to search for justice elsewhere.

Here you can find the summary off the case:

"On October 1, 1999, Albertina Ximenes placed her son, Damião Ximenes Lopes, in the care of the Casa de Repouso Guarapes, the only psychiatric clinic in the Sobral region. Three days later on October 4, Albertina returned to the clinic to visit Damião, who was suffering from a psychiatric disorder, but was informed that he "was not in a state to receive visits." Dissatisfied, Albertina entered the clinic shouting Damião's name. Damião came to meet her, but was in a deplorable state, bleeding, with various wounds, hematomas and his hands tied. She asked a staff person at the clinic to take him for a bath, and afterwards sought the doctor in charge, Dr. Francisco Ivo de Vasconcelos, Clinical Director of the Casa de Repouso Guararapes, and forensic medical examiner in Sobral. The doctor merely prescribed some medicines, without examining Damião.

When Albertina returned to look for her son again, a cleaner at the clinic told her that a fight had taken place between Damião and the nurses, and as a result of this Damião ended up badly hurt. Albertina found him beside a bed, completely naked with his hands tied. Unable to take Damião away, Albertina returned home. By the time she had returned home, the Casa de Repouso Guararapes had already rung informing her of the death of her son."

After a long process under the OAS the sentence:

"During the 119 th Session of the IACHR in October 2003, the IACHR concluded that the Brazilian State was responsible for violating rights with respect to personal integrity, life, judicial protection and judicial guarantees, foreseen by articles 5, 4, 8 and 25 of the American Convention on Human Rights. These violations resulted from the cruel, inhumane and degrading treatment of Damião and the torture and subsequent murder within the Casa de Repouso Guararapes. The violation of the obligation to investigate the crimes, of the right to appeal and judicial guarantees were linked to the investigation of the events and the Brazilian judicial system."

"Late last night, 17th August 2006, the Inter-American Court on Human Rights, the highest tribunal within the OAS, condemned Brazil for the death of Damião Ximenes Lopes, which occurred on the 4th of October 1999 in the Clínica de Repouso Guararapes, in Sobral, in the state of Ceará."
I'm reposting it because after seeing so many atrocities committed against US citizens who are under psychiatric care - I knew it was not paradise but never thought America treated their citizens this way - I ask myself where can American citizens find law for people who are considered mentally ill. Damião Ximenes case is an exception and should inspire others to seek for justice.
This country was condemned.

"The Inter-American Court of Human Rights' sentence in the Damião Ximenes case is the first to deal with the cruel and discriminatory treatment of people suffering from psychological disorders. The acknowledgement by the Court of the vulnerable situation to which these people are subjected widens international jurisprudence, and strengthens the denunciations of organizations working against internment of psychiatric patients, particularly with respect to human rights violations perpetrated within psychiatric institutions."

The Damião Ximenes case should be a lesson for all of those families who want to find justice when there are human rights violations against psychiatric patients.
It's not only in Brazil that there are these violations.
Take a look at OAS 's work."

Friday, February 20, 2009

Michelangelo's David before and after visiting US - Friday fun

I've found it here and felt like sharing. Susan, I didn't forget you have asked for David. At the blog I've found it's said that one his sponsors were MaCDonald's among others. I wonder what would have happen if he came to Brazil. No Stan. I'm not publishing because he is in the nude. I'm concerned with his health. Naturalgal, I'm concerned with his health. I swear!

Catholic Church - Michelangelo - condoms and... my dog?

The Catholic League, in a complaint filed with UGA vice president for student affairs, Rodney Bennett, said the university had “hijacked” an icon of Christianity which is Michelangelo "Creation of Adam".

It's strange because this painting that is at the Sistine Chapel has already been reinterpreted many times.

Look at God creating Nell! I've found it here.
I believe that Michelangelo is the right person to be asked. Art doesn't belong to the church any longer even if it is at Sistine Chapel.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I'm sorry I have to complain

You know those time of life when it seems you don't have strenght to deal with the problems? Yep. This is me lately.
I feel like crying most of the time. I'm so tired...
Philip has published a post about genetic discovers in psychiatry and
pharmacogenetic that I would like to comment here because I have written two posts on this thing last month and have some questions. It's quite scary.
But I'm exhausted.
My house is a mess. The termites are gone but I have no shelves to put my books. They are separated and if you don't have them together you cannot think clearly.
At least it works like this for me. Some of my clothes that were on the... yadda yadda yadda...
The house is a mess.
It's amazing how bad we feel when you cannot find your stuffs.
And I'm felling tired. I'm not cleaning and I'm not seeing the strength on the horizon. I feel like sleeping. When I have some strength I sit at the computer. I will find a way out.
Now I don't see and I don't think that tomorrow or next week I will.
But it will go away.

Inspirational - 2

My time to give the Inspirational Blogger Award and I'm happy that some of the blogs I admire have already received.These are my choices:

Anonimous Drifter Clinically Clueless Marissa Miller Susan Peter

Because they are

.... ...................................................................................totally awesome!


When I started this blog I never thought I would be doing it the way I'm. I never know if it's good or not but it doesn't matter. I never know what is the right direction, if I'm approaching things with... blah blah blah... I have many doubts.
But what I could never imagine is the way you all have received me.
I still feel an alien from time to time and being a Brazilian contribute a lot to this feeling. Writing, or scribbling in English is also something that I'm always confronted and fearing I'll not... blah blah blah LOL...
The good thing with the English is:

1 - I'm understanding the exactly meaning of some words, some that has no translation into Portuguese, and also some cultural aspects of American culture and some of the British that is only possible when we interact with people in their country:
2- I believe I'm digressing but there I go: Monday I was at an elevator and a couple was talking French. I've spent one year in Paris so I understand everything. The man asked the girl if they reached the floor and I answered him because I thought it would be polite to let them know that someone could understand them. They started to talk to me and I could not even say that I've spent one year in Paris because English was on my mind and blocked the French mode. Now when English is on my mind it always refers to you all.

After this digression I have to say that Stan has honoured me with the "Inspirational Blogger Award". Stan was the first one to comment on this blog and to put it on his sidebar. When I saw it on that sidebar I realized that it was for real and got a little scary. I'm still scary. Yes. Now it's because I have met so many amazing people that I don't want to let them down.
As always all persons involved with an award are great. Stephany who have given it to Stan is always inspiring me and many others. She also helped me keep on with the blog by showing me that I had a voice.
Both has given this award to amazing people.
I am grateful to be part of such a selected group.
No Groucho Marx*, this time I don't agree with you. I'm proud to be member of this club.

*"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
- Groucho Marx

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Philip Dawdy fundraiser time

Philip Dawdy is starting the Spring Fundraising for this spring so that he can keep on with his work at Furious Seasons.
Have you ever picture yourself having to ask for money to do your job? I can imagine how Philip feels every time he has to make these fundraisers. I would just like to remember that this is what honourable, ethical and dedicated people have to do in this strange world where money became an end in itself and global economy means capital coming and going without reaching the vast majority of population.
Yes, I said population because the word people don't seem to make any sense for some politicians.
It seems that individuals have become something abstract.
Or perhaps it's me.

Physician mistreat one blog friend

I've just visited Anonymous Drifter and came across with this:
Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Hmm, That Was Kind of Bizarre

While at my psychiatrist's we talked for awhile about my hearing loss. She asked if I was going to purchase hearing aids. I said I would but I didn't have the money to cover such a large purchase. She asked me if social assistance could help. I said no because my husband and I make too much money to be able to obtain any assistance. Then she said, "Well, when your mother dies can you have hers?" This strikes me as such a strange question to ask. Maybe it's just me.

No, it's not just you. I'm appalled by this. I had to share it with other people. Is it the way physicians help their clients?

PS: We are so used to hear terrible stories that something like this should be considered "just on of those little stories". However I believe that these little stories are serious because it reflects on which basis the relationship patient/doctor is based.
I have a lot to say about it but now I'm too tired. Hope you can understand what kind of ethics I'm raising.

My best friend when I was nineteen

This picture will stay here only for one day.
Can you see the "there" look I told you?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

MHRA fails - Paxil/Seroxat/Aropax - two known victims under 18

It's amazing how hard it is to take a break from mental issues problems. I'm browsing around and finding more and more evidences - that are seen as anecdotical by researches and physicians - and nonsenses on friends blogs.
I've just visited Bob Fiddaman's blog and he wrote this post about MHRA failure in prosecuting GSK. I've copied this paragraph:
"There are two high profile cases known throughout Alasdair Breckinridge's 'so called Seroxat scandal' that I have highlighted on this blog many times. Those being the tragic circumstances of Sara Carlin and Sharise Gatchell. Both hanged themselves, both were prescribed Seroxat, both were under 18. It's highly likely to all that had they not been prescribed Seroxat then they would probably be settling down to a Sunday roast with their parents today. If that is defamatory and offends GSK and/or the MHRA then maybe they would like to argue the point with me... or better still, explain to the parents of Sara and Sharise why they were prescribed a drug that carried a risk of death?"

Update: I've just remembered I wrote this post about 12 babies who were part of a GlaxoSmithKline clinical study to test the effectiveness of a vaccine against pneumonia and have died in 2007 in Argentina.

US and UK jails are overcrowded - inmates are mentally ill

I've just came across with this at The Lancet:
"Prison health Up to 90% of inmates in UK prisons have at least one mental-health disorder, and 10% have a serious mental-health problem, according to a report by the Prison Reform Trust. The report says that such inmates receive unsatisfactory treatment and that care rather than incarceration could help to relieve pressure on the nation’s over-crowded jails."
I've remembered this post Marissa Miller wrote with this information:
"Two thirds of prisoners nationwide with a mental illness were off treatment at the time of their arrest, according to a new study by Harvard researchers that suggests under-treatment of mental illness contributes to crime and incarceration."
It's from "Harvard study: Under-treatment of mental illness contributes to crime." and Marissa explains:

"The article is poorly titled. The headline was designed to be alarming: "Watch out for those crazy people! They're violent!" It's not "under-treatment of mental illness" that "contributes to crime" so much as it is "two-thirds of inmates with mental illness are off medication." There's nothing in the article that asserts people with mental illness contribute to the crime rate in America. An interesting read but an inaccurate head."
I'll just leave these data for the moment because I'm not able to think about it all now. I truly believe that something very strange with these numbers, diagnoses... the whole thing.
It's amazing that mental illness is associated with crimes in such a way.

Clinically Clueless is back!

Monday, February 16, 2009
Everyone, thank you for your overwhelming support. I'm still adjusting and sleeping most of the day, so it is taking some time to reacclimate to the real world. Tomorrow I should have a post about some of my hospitalization experience.

Hospitalization - by ClinicallyClueless on Polyvore.welcome

Welcome back CC! Thank you for the beautiful mural. Yes! Life is about creating yourself.

The Lobotomist

I am now watching “The Lobobtomist.” You can watch the full program on PBS.org American Experience.

There are twelve chapters telling the story of lobotomy since it's creation by Walter Freeman, M.D., passing through the chemical lobotomy - thorazine created on 1954 -, when physicians started to condemn the surgical procedure, till now.

It's amazing how history repeats itself. It seems that physicians changes their minds only when a new treatment is found and apparently causes no harm.
This is sad.
On the first video there's this observation by Robert Whitaker the "Mad in America" author:

"The lesson here is not how a man can go off the rails but is how science can go out off the rails."

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sad eyes...

Yesterday I was watching some videos and I've noticed that Pearl Jam's vocalist Eddie Veddy's eyes look as if he has been there. His lyrics tell the story of a difficult infance and looking at him I could not help seeing not only this kind of sadness but also a kind of questioning, amazement and helplessness.
I can see it in some people because my eyes have something related to all these even after twenty years of therapy.
I can also smile with my eyes, I've been told. However I know this look will never go away. I'm not talking about sorrow or sadness of everyday life.
It's something different. Something that tells others that you've been there.
I cannot explain what there means. I believe you all know what I'm talking about.
I hope Stephany writes something about this. She is very good with words and in explaining these things.

Update: Today I was walking at the streets and felt like crying. I had a sunglasses and sometimes I've wear it. This is sadness of everyday life but also of the "there" thing.
Wow! The title of this post should have been: "The There Thing"

US Senate - Lyle Hillyard is worried about loch ness monster

Welcome to The Senate Site
Saturday, December 08, 2007

Loch Ness

E-mail from Lyle Hillyard: During our recent trip to Scotland, we went to the famous Loch Ness to see the Loch Ness Monster. I tried everything but could not get him (or her) to come up where we could see her (or him) so I asked Holly to take a picture so I could prove that there is no such thing as a Loch Ness Monster. I hope that this picture now puts your mind to rest.

He was on vacation but was it necessary to put it at the Senate site?
Is he a good congressman? If so correct me.

Update: I came across with this site because I was looking for Loch Ness Monster for a comment I left at Philip Dawdy's Furious Seasons about how difficult it's to raise awareness on mental health and I wrote this:
"Our experiences are taken as anecdotal.
We are seen, by physicians and researchers, as Loch Ness Monster something totally mythical and impossible to be approached scientifically.
This is sad!"

Update - August, 2, 2009
The photo
I have uploaded is no longer available because I did a direct link to the Senator page and didn't use my own copy. As many people are visiting this post I wrote about it. You can link it clicking here.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

55 Cancri - Our solar system's cousin?

I'm feeling a little guilty writing on other stuff. However this is science. 2009 is the year dedicated to astronomy. Five planets were already found in 55 Cancri the system that looks like our solar system. According to Nasa:
"This artist's concept illustrates two planetary systems - 55 Cancri and our own. Blue lines show the orbits of planets, including the dwarf planet Pluto in our solar system. The 55 Cancri system is currently the closest known analogue to our solar system, yet there are some fundamental differences."

"The similarities begin with the stars themselves, which are about the same mass and age. Both stars also host big families of planets. Our solar system has eight planets, while 55 Cancri has five, making it the record-holder for having the most known exoplanets. In fact, 55 Cancri could have additional planets, possibly even rocky ones that are too small to be seen with current technologies. All of the planets in the two systems have nearly circular orbits.
In addition, both planetary systems have giant planets in their outer regions.
The giant located far away from 55 Cancri is four times the mass of our Jupiter, and completes one orbit every 14 years at a distance of five times that between Earth and the sun." (emphasis mine)

John Lennon - for "Julia" his mother who...

...was killed by a drunk driver when he was 18. This is a beautiful song.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

The power of each blogger - Matthew views

I'm always amazed by Matthew's analitical way and this is not the first time I use one of his comments.
He wrote a post on MK-Ultra something I didn't know existed but I know of some of it's tactics.
This is his answer to my comment:
Blogger Ana said...

I don't know why I'm so overwhelmed after reading the Wikipedia on the mk-ultra.
I'm really appalled.
I know CIA has done many of this things such as starting giving marijuana to the Black Panthers so that the group could loose their unity.
But a project like this...

14 February 2009 09:54

Blogger Radagast said...

I know: pathetic, isn't it? Rather than address the issues that people have raised, they seek to destabilize, such that those people may be ignored, or discredited - it's a recurring theme. They assume that there's a threat, rather than checking thoroughly to establish if that assumption is true.

That's why we're a real problem for them, because, unlike an organization such as the Black Panthers, we don't need that type of group identity to function. We're a group of individuals with strong moral codes and no small intellect, each capable of asking massively embarassing questions, but no more than that, because we're all peaceful people.

The CIA has its fair share of psychopaths - people who have lost the ability to make judgements for themselves and who just follow the orders of those above them (superiors who are either twisted, or who have an incomplete understanding of what's actually being done). But they're only people, individuals, like us, and it soon becomes apparent that although they're joined together under the banner of a single organization, there is no unity - they are held together by fear and ignorance, which is never a strong bond. Meanwhile, we cannot be broken apart, because we were never joined together - not in the sense that they understand, anyway (the way we rallied around Fidders when he was attacked by GSK's lawyers must have terrified them, seeing as they're not familiar with the concept of "friendship"!). (emphasis mine)


14 February 2009 10:19

Diagnosing people according to their art-work

This is at Wikipedia and I believe that this kind of approach is very controversial:

Diagnosing the self-portrait
Self-portrait of Egon Schiele 1911, depicting masturbation.

"Some artists who suffered neurological or physical diseases have left self-portraits of themselves that have allowed later physicians to attempt to analyse disruptions of mental processes; and many of these analyses have entered into the textbooks of neurology.[2]

The self-portraits of artists who suffered mental illnesses, give a unique possibility to physicians for investigating self-perception in people with psychological, psychiatric or neurologic disturbances.

Russian sexologist Igor Kon in his article about masturbation notes that a habit of masturbating may be depicted in works of art, particularly paintings. So Austrian artist Egon Schiele depicted himself so occupied in one of his self-portraits. Kon observes that this painting does not portray pleasure from the masturbation, but a feeling of solitude. Creations of Schiele are analyzed by other researchers in terms of sexuality, and particularly paedophilia."

Friday, February 13, 2009

For the ladies - Friday fun

Susan has asked for beautiful men a long time ago when I published some paintings depicting women. I've just found this blog and took this photo from there.
I hope those who like men enjoy.
I know men rather see women but I would like to know what they think about the pictures.

Sara Carlin and Traci Johnson R.I.P. - SSRI victims

Fiddy has published a video for Sara Carlin a Paxil victim. Her story is explained at this post:

Source: Oakville Beaver

Sara Allison Carlin was an active, enthusiastic and academically successful student in high school. But all that changed in her final high school semester when she was prescribed the anti-depressant drug, Paxil, for anxiety. What followed was a downward spiral that ended in suicide. In order to prevent other parents from experiencing such a tragedy, Sara's parents contacted The Oakville Beaver to tell her story.

Read heartbreaking story HERE

"Sara, suffering from the side effects of a powerful anti-depressive drug, grabbed a piece of electrical wiring, fashioned a crude noose and hanged herself in the basement of her parents's house."

She was 18 years old when she hanged herself. Seven days ago I remembered five years of Traci Johnson's suicide also by hanging herself during Cymbalta clinical trials. Traci was 19 years old.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I've been sad...

... so I'm trying to write on other things because this constant struggle makes me feel more sad and angry.

I've stolen this image from a blog, cannot remember which, and it's a kinda of gift to valentine's day.

I like the picture and the idea. So there it is.

Some of you must find strange about some comments that are now being left. Naturalgal has already said that we are being... goofy.
I believe I need to be goofy for a while. I'm not very good in writing about my feelings and I'm also not in the mood. I rather try to share things I like for the moment.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

FDA approves depressant drugs

Katharine's was the first to publish it. I don't have the habitude of searching for funny stuff. I hardly smile. I'm a very centered person.

My house is...

...a mess. There are clothes and things spread all over the living-room. The man is at the bedroom. Yep, there he is!
All the furniture has been removed. Bye-bye termites. Where am I going to put my things? Next problem on the list.
This is the new computer. Wow! Finally I can see video, thus the amazing video with women's face I've just posted.
Now I will have to make updates for the Windows Starter Edition. This is a version only sold... for poor countries. I did not know that for every new Windows there's this version. I can only open three programmes at a time. That's very strange but this is the globalization!
Now I will be able to visit all blogs but first I will have to take care of this mess.
I'll browse around later.
Hope you are all at peace.

Dedicated to those who love women

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Quietness and those rare moments

. . .

Sometimes I experience quietness and it's good.
I don't know why today I thought about those rare moments when the sight of a person you love a hug or looking into each others eyes makes the time stops and the whole universe makes sense.

It last seconds and time starts flying again with all it's problems and a promise of peace, or who knows, happiness.
So I would like to tell my friends that I'm trying to easy my mind and I'm having troubles visiting some blogs. I've tried Stan, Mark Krusen and D Bunker but the computer always freezes.
I'm concerned with Clinically Clueless because she did not write for two weeks and in her last post she said she was going to be hospitalized.
I would like to make a big hug with all the names of wonderful people I met but I fear forgetting someone.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((ALL OF YOU)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Feb. 7, 2004 - In memory of Traci Johnson - Cymbalta victim

Traci Johnson, a healthy volunteer, joined Cymbalta's Eli-Lilly urinary incontinence clinical trial in early January, 2004 in a clinic at Indiana University Medical Center.
In February, 7 her body was found. She hung herself by a scarf from a shower rod.

..................................................................................RIP Traci Johnson

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Dealing with reality - help!

You know those problems you don't have money to fix than you pretend nothing is happening, keep going till you have to find a way because the thing became impossible to deal with?
That's what I'm trying to do.
This bedroom that I turned into a studio is full of termites.
I had to take all my books out. Yesterday I've called a man that will get rid of everything that is made of wood.
There are more of these things I need to fix.
Today I've got back the new computer I bought in July, 2008 that came broken. I don't know if it'll help because Brazilian government made a program called "Computers to Everybody" - "Computadores para Todos", hey you up there in Brasília stealing our money!
Nice program, great initiative!
However the computers are an assemblage of junk made by people who don't know how to work, at low costs - our taxes pay for it -and it works just for ten days. Does it cost cheap? No.
Whenever I find myself in this situation there's a whole process:

1 - perplexity - how can it be that they do things like this? Dear Lord! There are people who never had a computer... say what? all this money just to do it? - my mind keeps with those questions for days or months...
2 - I try to find another way...
3 - I prepare myself to act...
4 - number 1,2 and 3 all over again...
5 - exhaustion
6 - perplexity...
7 - I want mummy!
8 - No mummy! Go for it.

I don't know if it's local or a global phenomena but it's getting harder and harder to reach solution to problems of daily life. It's difficult to find people who do a good.
So there I go trying to fix these things...
thinking of you!

Hard day!